Today my step-grandpap passed away. He was really sick and we were expecting it but it is still really upsetting. He was a very clever and witty guy and he always had a good line of advice for you.

He would always tell me when i would have drama or something to tell him, "Amanda, a still tongue is a wise head!" and boy was he right.. sometimes it's just better to hold your tongue.. and when I would get sad about not having a boyfriend in High School he would always say "Amanda there's an ass for every seat".. which i always thought was funny and it made me feel better.

He made really good oatmeal cookies and really good city chicken... and in one of the hardest times of my life.. when my parents got divorced.. he was a strong male figure of stability when we moved in with my Gram. Of course he never replaced my biological Grandfather.. but when Gram remarried, Dave became a solid part of the family.. and for 10 years we have loved him very much. We will miss him.

Rest in Peace Dave. We love you and we see you again soon.

it's amazing how the human psyche produces defense mechanisms that are capable of kicking in exactly when you need them to, without you having to do anything at all to activate them.

once you begin to feel certain kinds of stress, they swoop in to protect you, sometimes confusing your rational mind but nevertheless they numb you from the pain that you would otherwise be feeling.

all while allowing you to exhibit the appropriate behaviours for whatever situation you may be in as they beautifully mask what's really going on inside.

thank god for defense mechanisms.