wow... it's been so long since I've made an entry.. I guess it's about time I did. I've thought a lot about just shutting this thing down but I just can't seem to do it. I read my last post and had to laugh. The date I had that night went terribly... the guy was a real piece of work. But since then I have met and have been dating my current boyfriend for over a year. Funny how the tides turn. I don't know what is in store for us or where it will go but I know that I am happy for now. We shall see.

i have so much to express right now i don't even know how to start.

the first: Politics.

i don't understand how people can be apathetic about politics. i mean.. when i hear people say that they don't care about it i just feel bad that they live in such a world of cynicism. I mean.. what happened to the american dream? to the idea that anybody can make a difference?

Look at Martin Luther King. One man leading a revolution. Not because he thought that the government officials cared what he had to say. Not because he thought that they had the interests of the people at heart.. but because he KNEW that they DIDN'T. He knew that the government officials didn't care! But he also knew that even if they tossed him aside.. they might not toss him and his family aside. and they might not toss his family and his neighborhood aside. and his town. and his state etc. etc. because one voice can be many voices.

Look at the gay-rights movement and the women's rights movement! Even the beginning of America! These people were not cynics. They were passionate about their lives and the lives of those around them! They saw the injustice and rather than be crushed beneath it, they fought even when defeated.

Because they knew that even if they lose, they are seen losing and they are heard losing. They are remembered losing. And people might think about their loss and talk about their loss and someday ACT on behalf of their loss.

Revolutions aren't won by fighting alone. Revolutions are won with hope! Without hope how could they fight in the face of adversity until their cause it recognized?! It is hope that makes us go on in our lives and in the face of corrupt politicians. Hope that makes up keep voting. Hope that makes us believe that we can do anything because we are Americans.

I remember learning in school as a child that because I was American I was one of the luckiest people in the world. "You live in the greatest and strongest and best country on Earth" i was told. "You should be thankful because you are free and you can achieve anything you work for because in America anything is possible" Now this may seem naive. It may seem idealist and narcissistic, but it is the truth behind patriotism.

Ask yourself.. do you love America? Now I'm very liberal from a political standpoint and I know for a fact that America isn't the kindest of nations. And we make mistakes. And we care too much about money. And we push other countries around.. but I LOVE AMERICA!

I don't love America because I was born here. or because I think that America is perfect.

I love America because in America the people live with hearts filled with hope. I've traveled abroad and I lived for three months amongst my peers of another country. And the one thing I learned and noticed and came home with is that when your nation doesn't let you be free, you don't feel free. You don't feel like you can make a difference. You don't feel like you can accomplish anything. You don't let your dreams soar as high as they might soar. You just walk around without hope and without any ambition beyond personal "success".

That to me is sad. I feel strongly about justice in this world. and about the welfare of the people who deserve and fight for this justice. and I believe that we can't sit and let these things go by. My vote may not seem to make a difference but if everybody just believed that their vote did then we might all come together and make real change. Politicians may be corrupt. But i don't believe that they have to be. just like Dr. King (and I'm not comparing myself to Dr. King i'm just saying..) didn't believe that we had to have racism and segregation in America.

I guess the ultimate point I'm making is that if we really care about our lives and the lives around us, but we think that Washington is corrupt and ultimately greedy and uncaring.. then why not fight to change that. How can looking into the face of corruption make you apathetic about it?!

How can we not be inspired to make a change to make a difference??!.. to be the Dr. Kings of our generation. I mean.. as much as I disagree with the agenda of the Tea Party movement... I at least give them credit for fighting and caring about their cause. They are passionate and they are fighting for what they believe. And even though I think they are a bunch of right-winged knuckleheads.. they are hopeful and passionate about their cause.. they are what America is all about.

I'm watching the Tudor's on Showtime On Demand. and it is BANGIN' like totes awesome in every way.